A Splendid Day Off
Today I had off. Today my car got towed. Rob was nice enough to drive me to the impound lot. Rob was nicer still to wait with me amidst the lines, yelling people, and inane process of car retrieval. It costs $100 to spring your car from the joint, and an extra $25 for your parking ticket.
If you would like to count yourself among the extremely lucky cool kids, roll like me and score another parking ticket during the same day when you park your car outside of the cell phone store wherein you pay $85 for a new phone to replace the one that mysteriously disappeared this past weekend. After your 5 minutes exchange is up, come out to find a pleasant meter maid, who is predictably uninterested in your day’s sob story, writing you a $35 ticket. Instead he informs you that the time is now 3:31pm. The zone you are parked in becomes a rush-hour-high-volume-area at 3:30pm and you are in the way. Kindly offered him $35 to instead press down on the gas pedal while you lay down in front of your car. Skulk away unceremoniously when he is once again uninterested.
Today’s tally: $245.
Philly is a ‘discount impound’ city. Cost me $385.00 for the same thing. The best part is the breakdown of the cost, posted on the wall: apparently the ‘processing fee ($85)’ goes towards the pen and ledger that my plate number and name were caveman-edely entered into…and with…
Wow, that second ticket is too perfect. The ol’ sucker punch. Really, though, isn’t it better that your $245 is being used to make Philadelphia work for you than used for the prostitutes and narcotics you had already allocated it for?
Yeah, (kicks pebbles) I suppose so.
I think it’s fitting that Rob could witness your tower of luck crumble. Breath it in, Robby!
Oh how the mighty Stan has fallen!
“Where’s yer messiah now? Mwah, see, Mwah!”
Seriously, that sucks some major ass.
i never got to comment on your craptastic day. man, that sucks.
funny how this day was not the best for the niff either.
i got fired.
for…being too good at my job.
funny how bad days go around.
warn me next time stanny.
She told me a different reason for getting fired.…hmmmm.