February 13, 2004

A Valentine’s Day Mystery

Valentine's Heart with Book Club written on it

Our company provided cupcakes for a bit of Valentine’s Day cheer this afternoon (which immediately threw me back to memories of grade school and my pimpin’ days out on the school playground). The cupcakes were topped with those little candy hearts emblazoned with clever messages like “Be Mine”, “UR Cute”, and “True Love”. This time I came across a message that is a bit of an anomaly. Nothing about love, reaching out, or even a modicum of cleverness. No, Kevin, a walking anomaly himself, received the cupcake with the heart reading “Book Club” (that photo is un-edited). Hmmm. What could this mean? Am I so out of touch that the kids now refer to “it” as “Book Club” (or book clubbin’)? Is there some double entendre I am missing? Is this a secret code, or perhaps a way for the dateless to be reminded they still have their friends back at the old Book Club? Please, help me reason this one out…

Commentary (9):

1. Kevin Cornell says… feb 13, 2004 | 3:53 pm

“I book-clubbed her cornhole.”

2. Liz says… feb 13, 2004 | 4:13 pm

um.….mother effer.….now everyone is gonna know that phillybookclub.org is just a clever disguise for monthly orgies. crap.

3. Merritt says… feb 13, 2004 | 5:52 pm

Maybe it’s supposed to be “Poon Club”?

4. niff says… feb 13, 2004 | 7:11 pm

well stanny, i think you are on to something big. i got a heart today that read “let’s read.” so i guess if you’re in the book club…aka:sex club, you dont have “sex” you “read.” makes sense to me.
kids are sick now a days.

so i’m gonna ask people how much readin’ they did over valentines day weekend. i know i’m gonna read a big book! a REAL BIG BOOK. huh ha.

5. Rob Weychert says… feb 13, 2004 | 9:15 pm

Check it out: Books consist primarily of paper. Paper is made from wood pulp. Wood pulp is made from wood, in log form. I’m sure we’re all already familiar with the term “log-jammin’.” As for the “club” part, well, don’t forget that “club” can be used as a verb as well as a noun. So basically, the cryptic candy refers to being “clubbed” by a “book” (ie “log” or “wood”), as in the slang often directed at irate women, “What she needs is a good book club.” This describes, of course, not the act of sexual intercourse (as in Kevin’s theory), but rather that erotic concept more commonly known as “angering the bat boy.”

6. RJ Hampden says… feb 16, 2004 | 10:01 am

Book can also be used as a verb [book ‘em, Dano] meaning ‘to take something in’. If one were to assume that a club is a phallic object made of the afformentioned ‘wood’, then to Book Club’ could be connotated to be sexually. See also ‘Eat Cock’.

7. Kevin Cornell says… feb 16, 2004 | 1:44 pm

Yup… book-clubbed her till she threw up.

8. Wayne says… feb 17, 2004 | 10:17 am

As a professor of literature, I may be able to help. The heart’s message is an imperative: “BOOK CLUB.” (The dot above the “K” is a misplaced period.) It clearly prompts the reader to “book,” or reserve, a “club,” most likely a private location in which to engage in the activities mentioned in other posts. Perhaps the reverse of the heart is imprinted with the telephone number of the establishment referred to on the obverse. Or else the people at Reading Is FUNdamental slipped a bit of propaganda into the bag.

9. Jason Santa Maria says… feb 17, 2004 | 10:49 am

I can see now that I need to post more random topics. Posts about nothing seem to reel in the comments.