March 16, 2004

I, Asimov?

You have got to be kidding! What the fuck is this trailer?! I, Robot is one of Isaac Asimov’s (and Science Fiction’s) most quintessential tales (actually a series of short stories). The main character (which there really wasn’t one of in I, Robot) isn’t a tough guy, wise-cracking, one-syllable detective, he doesn’t participate in motorcycle chases, and he certainly doesn’t fight the robots from that Björk video. This looks more like a slap-dash version of I, Robot forced together with Caves of Steel, another of Asimov’s books. Poor Asimov is tunneling down out of his casket as we speak to get as far away from this mockery as possible.

Rather than a story about understanding and synthesizing morality and humanity, we get a shoot-em-up with robots gone haywire. Why even bother keeping the name? Is there some untapped group of 40 year old Asimov fans the film industry has been neglecting? No? Why then would you name it I, Robot? Why not something more apt to appeal to the target audience like The Matrix 4: Rebooted, or Robots Gone Wild?

Stupid fucking Hollywood. Before anyone says so, no, I am not surprised, but I am annoyed, which I am rightfully allowed to be. I don’t have faith in Hollywood, at least not more than a bit, because it’s one thing to make a piece of shit, and it’s another to take a great piece of art and turn it into a piece of shit. What’s more, to not even let the story stand as it originally was, but to strip it of its name and slap it onto something with related material. Bah. Ka-Ching Will Smith. Blow some more shit up.

Commentary (8):

1. bearskinrug says… mar 16, 2004 | 12:57 pm

Wow - FINALLY we’re able to see someone’s vision of just what the future will be like! I wonder how badges will look? Will cars still appear the same as they do now? What great dances will be created by rapper/homicide cops in the near future!?

2. Sean says… mar 16, 2004 | 2:00 pm

ugh, don’t even get me started on this… the second I heard will smith was involved, i just kept hearing a big DOOM DOOM DOOOOOOOOOOM banging around in my head.

3. PeterSantaMaria says… mar 17, 2004 | 9:33 am

I wonder if Will Smith will have a talkin’ pie as his sidekick?!

4. Shaun Inman says… mar 17, 2004 | 11:57 am

More like, “Why, Robot?” uh-uh! ha-ha! ha-ha! Parent robots just don’t understand.

5. RJ Hampden says… mar 18, 2004 | 3:30 pm

I’d say that you guys were really geeking out about this, but I went here first.

6. Todd Coleman says… mar 20, 2004 | 8:42 am

I had the same thoughts when I saw the trailer. I guess the screenwriters figure that no one will go see a thoughtful story about man and machine.

That last shot of the robots all swarming over that glass dome is just ridiculous.

7. Robert Castelo says… mar 22, 2004 | 7:52 pm

The robots in this film are clearly not obeying the law against harming human beings, otherwise they wouldn’t appear in a film with Will Smith.

8. RJ Hampden says… apr 1, 2004 | 9:59 pm

“Oh, you thought I was calling you sugar!? You’re not that rich!”